you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
