I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yo dont text me then not text me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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