Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize