how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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