I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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