capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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