i would punch a child for taco bell
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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