This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
