just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
