Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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