Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
