i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
only you would photoshop your dick
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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