Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
