There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
