so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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