it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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