I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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