So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
