I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
