Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
