fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
