tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
