i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
