I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
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