babies were throwing up all over the place
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
