oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
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You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he was CRYING into my vagina
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
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I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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