Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
this just has baby written all over it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
