it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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