Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
