i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
