the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
