Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
