Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
