I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
