True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
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I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
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don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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