kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
