Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
