hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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