GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize