Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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