you traded sex for a burrito?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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