Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
