STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
