I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
