Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
