Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
