dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
