he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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