oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
