Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
