She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
