my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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