I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I am available for nakedness
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
