dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize