Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
