There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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