Midget sex pt 2 tonight
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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